Make your own free website on Tripod.com


So, who am I? Well, thats too hard of a question to answer so i'll dodge it by saying a bit about myself.

I'm an 18 year old little boy from Rockville Maryland. I blow most of my time on doing metalwork and dabbing my big nose into the funny little world of disorganized religion known today as discordianism. However, on occasion i make time for my wonderful girlfriend (i wonder if she'll realize im patronizing her? Even if she does, i should get brownie points.). Besides those things there's not much more i can say about myself.

So, what about me? I don't know, seeing that I is being a little hard to decode surely me is being hard too.

So, is there a god? No, the fnord ate it silly. Actually, thats only in MY reality tunnel, but as long as you keep your filthy reality tunnel soiled hands off of my reality tunnel than everything is just ducky. Actually, my belief system is pretty complex. I used to be a die hard thelemite until i grew up and realized it was really arrogant in respect to humanity. So, i moved on and tried buddhism. That was good until I realized that actually practicing it was near impossible in the western world. Then i moved on to Taoism, which i really really love still, but i view it as more a philosophy than a religion. Next came where i am today--in the bowels of discordianism. What is that? Its hard to explain MY view of it, but i'll try.
What is the deal with Eris? Eris is the "goddess of chaos". Basically, my feeling is if you have a 'religion' you need a 'god' and here we have the worst role model for a 'god', so everything is perfect.
Whats a FNORD? Well, it stands for Foundation of Neo-cognitive Ontological Researching Development, in other words a thing that exists in a subjective reality. Im not going to go into those examples of subjective realities however, because honestly, they have to be trite to EVERYONE by now.

Sure
Got anything better to believe?
Why not?
Give it to me
No, of course not. This is merely a very tiny over view of the person? we call Mike. We hardly touched on his artistic fetish and if you really want to get to know this brat contact him. His aol im is Thexnihil, which is pronounced Thex Ni Hi L.
Is the end near? Ha--hardly, i still have much more nonsense to spew out through my finger tips. This is merely the preamble before we get to the thicket of tommyrot i will produce, maybe.

More on religion: This is my newest religion that i created within the last few minutes. You should join, if youre not a member already. I think as of now this is the biggest and fastest growing religion in america. Join now, membership is unlimited, you better hurry, eternal salvation isnt going to wait for you (nor are you going to get it from this religion).

Central beliefs:
The central belief being held by the dominant majority is that this category is not a real category and that the topic of central beliefs will be covered in a later segment entitled "the later segment".

Eccentric beliefs:
The eccentric beliefs of this non religion is that it is not a belief system, thus all of the beliefs are non-centered, even the underlying eccentricism. Accordingly, no two people are permitted to believe the same thing at the same moment in time or out of time. Believing the previous sentence is included in the eccentric belief clause. Violation of this rule will call for immediate non action.

Membership:
All members must first be initiated by one of the revered priests. These priests originally were limited to fast food workers and the people who ate the fast food, but since our membership has grown to record numbers we must expand the requirements for priestness. In order to become a priest you must not say 'I am a priest'. If you say you are a priest then you will just become a common member. To be initiated by a priest, the priest must look at you. If there are no priests in your area there is one other way to become an official member of this cult-if you eat food you are automatically a member.

The sacred and profane:
What is sacred is to never be talked or written about. Some things that are not to be talked or written about are: the words "the", "I", "a", "you", and "and". These words are mysterious, as for no one, as in me, knows where they originated. This is called the great myth of theiayouand, the myths secrets are never to be revealed because it is forbidden to mention them. Anyone who is caught mentioning them will not be released by the person that catches them. As for the profane, the profane is everything that is easy to explain and just common knowledge. Some examples are how the world was created and where you go when you die. For those of you who don't know, I'm not going to tell you.

The creation myth:
The world was created in 7 days. You see, day 1 had intercourse with day 2, they had two offsprings named day 3 and 4. Day 3 and 4 had two offsprings named 5 and 6. Day 5 and six had two offsprings named 7 and 8. However, due to so much inbreding day 8 died and day 7 had no one to procreate with. Hence, day 7 is the giant organism we live on and leach off of.

Where you go when you die:
Well, I'd say when you died you just went to dust, but then no one would like that. So, I'll tell you the truth. You go to a fantastic banquet with all sorts of uncanny guests. You get to dine with the worms, ants and a whole host of new and interesting creatures.

The later segment:
This section serves no purpose except to serve a purpose as serving a purpose would dictate that serving no purpose serves the purpose of serving no purpose, but that is false because this serves no purpose and true things can be false but this is not true-just completely false, but false things taste good, and things that taste good are yummy which leads me to the central belief that all things are not as cute as dogs.

Closing:
Closing.

Is there Anything left to say? Yes, there is very much, but i've worked on this for over an hour at this point any my attention is fastly dwindling. I feel the compulsion to stop writing this page this very instant.


All Images copyright 2000 to Mike Edelman
All html was written in notepad