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I remember thinking "so what"
As I wrote that letter.
"I don't need you, I don't need anyone"
"I want to be free".
And now, more than a year later I realize I was right then.
I did need to see the world, and I needed to learn to appreciate things.
But now that I know, that I understand the chemistry you are dissolved
Maybe someday you'll send me a post card from your secret abode.
I would, I would wait for you if I thought it would matter
I'd trade everything I have now to get what I once didn't understand.
Still the ship is out to sea and its not coming back.
I know this, the thoughts trickle through my mind everyday,
But I gave the raft a push and now I realize the consequence-
Gold is not an easy thing to imitate
And unless the trade winds shift
Or I learn alchemy
Sludge is all that will approach.

3/8/00

In the dawns eerie light
Perched atop a narrow bow
Stood a man forthright.
The ship t'was his locke, his dow
The key
Another mat'e
Who yearned to escape the sea.

Of yester, under dusks masterpiece
Perched atop a narrow bow
Stood a boy at peace.
The captain t'was his locke, his dow
The key
Another mat'e
Who yearned to escape the sea.

Of the soothsayers words, borne of night, a decrepit man will be
Perched atop a narrow bow
Standing without a passion
The world was his locke, his dow
The key
Another mat'e
Who failed to escape the sea.

9/1/99

A thousand silver rings
Sloppily piled up to my ceiling.
Some have tarnish
Others are shiny and new
Yet none are golden.

9/11/99

In the dream of the day
The writer, he is not writing
His voice is tossed aside
Into a pile of broken pencils,
The people
They look away
As if it was nothing.
Not as if they just killed Plato or Faulkner
But as if they had done us all a favor
By facilitating his demise.

9/19/99

9/22/99

Of yesterday the crystal palace stood
In the mine fields of dog shit
At the other end of the rapier
Was a diamond;
The construct of all emotion condensed into hard matter
And when it burns,
If you listen to the flames,
You can see what a wonderful voice we have.

9/24/99

Sittin beside the day
As it fades from fire to embers
Eyes shut
But light radiates through
Projecting a picturesque image on the insides of my eyelids
What could be more beautiful
Than dots of color in discord?

10/6/99

If for one second justice was blind
The fertile crimes
Growing out in the field
Would fall victim to parasites
The people would starve
And their thinning bodies
Fade to shadows
Which walk the earth only in myths
That are not passed down from generation to generation
But ones that die with their holders
As if they were too precious to be spoken.
No one will speak
Words dissolve to dust
Legends to nihil
But the sun will still shine.

10/9/99

27 airplanes into the evening
I haven't any idea about the time
But it is dark
The only shadows are from those man made insect traps
They still dance, like the real thing
Almost human-they could fool me
But deception is easy
Routine and automatic
Like cars in the city
We too blend in after a while
And become so mundane
No one notices even when we're not there.

10/11/99

Twenty-six letters
Which can be placed in interminable combinations
And this little blurb is all that is written.

10/11/99

Imagine perfection
Flawed
Is imagining
Yourself
Not perfect.

10/19/99

We
Sit
And
Grow
Stale
Reading
Things
Like
This
Instead
Of
Writing
Things
Like
This

10/20/99

Hats off to the hairless days
In which I left my scalp and skull
Pined under the weight of lust and nutrasweet
A smile remains
As a vain tombstone.

10/?/99

Maybe it is all in its subtleties
The way we laugh here
Unaware
Woe to the poor bug in the coffee as it is drunk
And may there be pity for the person who breathes in the virus.
May suburbia have mercy on its productions
And yiwa be with those who died for one of its names.
Let luck grace humanity so that it may thrive
And save this tiny world from colliding with what was first thought to be a celestial masterpiece.
And, in this oblivion where I write this travesty of art--let it be understood
I am laughing at my magnanimity.

11/13/99

Converging on the plain
Where yesterdays fuck tomorrows
Here we are today
Breeding
Constructing the universe

11/14/99

Bowing down before the night sky
A distant cataclysm transmits its secrets to me
And I
I am not fluent in the language.
11/14/99