Here I am in time without time
in a place that is not a place
trapped in a world locked with anouther world
in an infinity of space surrounded by all space.
Im a spirit withen skin
a star under stars
a dwindling flame withen
locked up in invisible bars.
Im a god who must obey laws of god
a man who obeys no man
however im a god amongst gods
and a man amongst men.
I burn with fire
and eroud with the earth.
I lye amongst the liar
and am born at birth.
I take while giving
and am happy in strife.
I die while living
and i still have always lived life.
Days
Days of laughter long gone
my innocence stolen away
but I never did go wrong
it may just seem that way.
Memories of days gone bye
the events that made me.
Now they expect me to die
but Aphordite will not have me.
How can they say where im going with only two eyes?
their hypocracy seems only evident to me.
I once came to believe their lies
but now im finding out whats to be.
Days of dreams that died long ago
my hopes dwindled away
Modern times suggest I dont know what I know
so my thoughts they wish to slay.
Which world is real?
Is now only a dream?
just because i can feel
does not mean it is as real as it may seem.
everything i ever wanted i dont want anymore
money, power, fame...
ive escaped mans lure.
All that comes from his riches is shame.
Days to come in the future that my past has set.
my hopes all live there
even though it has not happened yet
i still do worry how my fate will fair.
there is no doubt i want to be the best
but labels are useless.
Maybe this is just anouther test
but its boundries are endless.
as the future moves in
will i break the white light down
only to find a rainbow withen
and in the colors drown?
0=2
Nothing and something are everything
Something always ends up as nothing
and nothing always turns into something
nothing can only become something if it is recognized
and something will only turn to nothing when it is forgotten
But being nothing is not the same as being non-existant
being non-existant is being everything
So when you are not something or nothing
you are everything
and when you are everything you do not exist
However when you are everything you are something
thus is life, which is infinate.
Wish
Wish away the undying night and the extended day
The suns rays grasp this holy land
We do not own this pseudo paradise
What was once trash has turned golden
Streets paved with gold
In this nicotine plagued alcohol burdened land
A young man sits atop a chair and documents his life
Spoke none
You understood my silence better than any man
Long ago a deeply saddened man walked within a giant forest on a long never ending journey.
My reservations are unresolved, things are always more than they seem. Nothing I have solved, no matter how much I dream. Hey, you over there, you look smart, can you help me save myself? Are you smart, loving, caring, will you be a friend? Can you help me learn what I am. You, sir over there can I trust you to care, can you love me for all that I am, or have I done it again? I do not know what I am looking for, but I know this much, I do not want this anymore. Here I stand in the pouring rain, pouring my heart out to the trees, but they listen and respond with silence no matter how loud I shout. Can you help me? Where can I wander when you own all the land. How can I learn when you have all the knowledge in your hand.
The only love you know is laced with pain
Wish away the never ending fight and sense of decay
Reach for the sun, but dont stray to far.
You will go blind when youre done, you can only make that wish when you touch that star.
Wishing water filled with pain,
soon youll see they have died invain.
Walking high above the lie
youll want that wish to surely die.
Something else has wasted away
was it your wish upon that day?
How many will you steal?
How many will you kill?
Why cant you feel?
What hole must you fill?
Remebering now the other night, I refused to accept the fool was right.
Now it is feeding on suffering strife
feeding on your dying life.
Whatever you said is inane because hope is dead.
Staring at the empty abyss. Glaring back to find what you missed
You gave into being led. It is no suprised you wished you were dead.
Going off toward the sky
go now and touch the sun
for your wish will die
than who has won?
all and more have now come true
you are everything and none
what is left to do
now that you are none
lost alone
A young boy stands scrying into the watery abyss.
It gladly gives off his reflection.
His reflection is all that resembles him in this world.
It is all that he has...
Now sitting down thoughts pour into his head
and a stray tear falls from one eye.
He wonders...
What is he to do?
Why are there so many and he so few?
Overwhelmed he grabs the tiny knife out of his pocket
and he grasp it tightly in one hand.
Cautisoully he wills the knife to tear a tiny hole in his skin
not in rage, but confussion.
Blood slowly flows in a stream-like manner toward the water
The pool instantly becomes infected with his meloncholy
what was once untouched, unsoiled; slowly turns to crimson
In the haste the boys image is reflected no more
the mirror twin is gone
He is alone, he is alone
Dead and Free
Dissolved into his last breath the man who has sacrificed himself utters his cause,
'freedom'
Has another word possessing such beauty ever been spoken?
Its goal is unattainable,
Its beauty is immeasurable,
Its actuality is unreal,
Still it is his wish to be free,
So does he leave this world to be free from himself or his oppressors?
and the offspring's of Jesus govern it with a merciful hand and a loaded gun.
Heathens and infidels shunned into the abyss and banned
from this glowing sanctuary that belongs to none,
but I.
much rather it captivates you and I
but nothing can save you from this ultimate sacrifice.
Now rain burns holes through life, and intoxicants nourish the air
occurrences that once seemed sudden
have disappeared and no one does care.
fields as far as the eye can see
so many horror stories remain untold
only revealed are the ones that do not have relevance to me.
Here, in the place we stand is the black hole inbeded in the earth.
The holy laws of supply and demand
once used up you will embark on the journey into the abyss the find your worth.
Only to find you lost yourself somewhere along the way
and the stories of old still buried in shrouds of glamour
there is only one word left to say
'America'
Books
everything that has ever happened to him goes in his book
he documents every moment he has ever been in strife
and everything he ever took.
The book is filling up
his life seems to be ending
Nightmares turning real
endless thoughts descending
Lightning striking down
rivers overflowing
Soon he is to play the clown
because he does not know where he is going
Books of his life sitting in the darkened corner over there
the pen is drying up, but he does not care
He will sit and sit
in his writing chair
even though his book and pen are no longer there.
The past is over
the futures just begun
he is out of paper
he is done.
Now he just sits in his chair
pretending they are still there.
days
This is not tomorrow
it is happening now
what is going on?
Im confused now
what of tomorrow
what became of yesterday
this is not tomorrow
Im in the now.
Visions of yesterday
prophets of tomorrow
but nothing is happening now
I want tomorrow
but im stuck in the now...
I dont remember yesterday
but it'll make tomorrow
What is going on?
where are we now
Where will we end up tomorrow?
Where were we yesterday?
Where are we going?
What are we now?
we are stuck in the now
it is not tomorrow
and way past yesterday
I want to be in tomorrow
but I cant because yesterday
Im stuck in the now.
despite anger turning to violence you never ran.
By my side you charioted with me
In the forest we'd hide amongst the trees.
In darkness or light you killed my fear
whenever my emotions fight you are more near;
to my heart.
My how I love you
I wish we had to never part, but I envy you.
All I want is to be true and free
just like you, but ill never be.
I cry for you, though I may help you live
I'd die to be like you
but that, nothing, no one can give; to me.
I dream, but am never free
no matter how free I seem.
If you cast away into permanent exile what will I do?
During all this while you are what I knew as true.
No language speaks truth
and you never spoke.
Just because tongues tied does not mean we are done.
Everything you let me know
without trying to become me
I wish to never let you go
though we are not we.
All your anger lost in time
forgotten kindness
and you always played a mime.
On ones decent to madness
you heard no, spoke no evil.
On four hands you just tried to survive
measuring love with food.
All you asked was that you could stay alive.
Though my cruelness always seemed crude.
Man
He pondered his depression and his happiness
He thought of the mysteries of the world, but he was not in it for power.
All he seeked is understanding
He wished not for fame and love
He already had everything that would make him happy,
but he did not know.
He just did not know.
This was his motivation to live
his reason to travel and why he wrote.
He became helpless as he just searched and searched
He fell victim to the question 'how'
and now questions everything he sees.
Purity
Lying down I wonder can I go back to the way I used to be. Can I be whole again. How can I be this way. I thought I was friends with time, but it keeps running. Faster as I run from it, and I wonder, if it can make me whole again. Can it bring me back or must I keep running because everything is not okay. Time, I was never friends with time. That's why I'm running, but it is running too. And I wonder if it can take me back, take me to what I used to be. I once was a savior. I could at least save myself. What am I now? I betrayed myself again, but I keep running, trying to get away. It keeps following, to this very day. I still wish it all to just go away. Time, thought id made friends this time, but like a person I was fooled again. And I wonder can time make me whole again. I used to cry for time, I used to lie to make time. Oh how I wish I could die for time, only if I could stop running from time. I heard a voice, it resembled my own. He reminded me of what I have done. He made me question why I run. Everyday I am forced to age. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't locked up in this cage. It makes me wonder how much I have missed. I just want it back, but I cant though I wonder if I were friends with time, could it bring me back and make me whole again. Tomorrow I will be here unwillingly again. Must I be friends with time. Is that all I run from, maybe its myself, but I swore I wouldn't . No, not this time. Only if I were friends with time, then I could find reason and rhyme and I wonder if I could go back, would I change a thing? Could I make myself whole again. Maybe now I see that I am not friends with time. Should I be friends with time. Tomorrow I will just keep running away ill always do it the next day., but not again. I told myself not again, but what can I do this time. How can I be pure again? Can I be friends with time, or must I give myself to time. I will never stop running away because I swore not this time and I wonder, sir can you help me. You look so brave and free, but looks are deceiving and so are you, what is it you really do? You keep running away. Maybe I am scared of myself, I just keep running away from time. thought I had made friends with time and I wonder could it make me pure again that's why I keep running away. I swore never again, why cant you bring me back, to where I was time. here I just wait and try to run away and wait for you to take me back upon that day, but will you make me whole again. I thought if I was friends with time, I would finally find some reason and rhyme. I guess not this time, but I swore I would never waste it again, I guess I will only know then. In that place in time, thought I wasn't in time, its way past my time so I keep running away and I will until that last day. When I make friends with time and when I turn back into time.
Mirror fiend
Tonight I ask and I pray to myself. I hope I have enough, so I wander out into the night and I keep searching for what is right; to me. Is this how it is supposed to be? Maybe soon I will find what im missing and then I might be me? I look in the mirror what do I see, its myself looking back at me. My sir, you look smart, can you save me. Can you help me save myself? Man in the mirror, I see you, can you see me and what is the real me? Sir can you help me get back to me. You are so beautiful, why cant I find that in me? I can only hope you can help me, help me be free. Man in the mirror, if you disappear I will be lost here.
pave
You hate because it is safer than love
Hate spawns from air ringing
and love from the abyss's noise.
Blindness only exists in light
The true beauty lies in darkness.
Truth only lies in your mind.
Your imagination is all that can love and be beautiful.
As absence of though is serenity
while chaos of thought is emotion.
freedom
Who do I fight for my freedom?
Wasnt this battle already fought?
Why am I the only one who cares?
When will this opression ever end?
Where were you when this was happening?
How could it happen again?
History is repeating
The dawn of a new era
People are playing the toy
and innocence is dead.
Being not guilty is not being innocent
Dying and being dead are life.
Power and rage
happiness and strife.
Who is responsible?
Where are they?
How will I find them?
When will they be there?
Wasnt there supposed to be a change?
What more do you want from me?
Who shall I fight for my freedom?
What is this love that is the envy of every man woman and child
can such movie screen passion be felt,
or does this vivid image of wild
just lie in the gloomy realms of our imagination?
What is known
can a dream transgress to reality and be obtained
That is bled is never sown
so can such a thing be sustained
while you live?
My will
Ive given you everything except myself
what more do you want from me?
I waste all my time with you
You are what im supposed to do
is it me or you?
You are not what I wanna do!
Here I am wasteing my time
Ive traveled so far
It was such a long climb
but im still not at the star.
Ill never get it
especially when i care to much about myself
to descrate myself for you.
My morals held tightly
but you try to strip them away
you say what you say
and you make the rules of how you play
but in the end you always get your way.
I hate you
you dont let me do my will
that is why i have such a hole i must fill.
Its such a big hole
and because of you stealing my life itll never be full
Truth
I asked for reason
i heard something called truth.(what truth?)
I asked why
and I stumbled upon a window.(and looked outside)
I asked who
and I saw myself in the mirror. (i am all that is true to myself!)
I wondered when
and I lost track of time. (there is no time when lost in thought)
I wondered what
and I became afraid. (i feared the unknown)
I wanted to know how
then I saw everyone else. (i figured it is because that is what i was taught)
what became of you?
I come to you in need and you turn me away
i asked for help
you didnt care
even though you always promised you would be there.
What if i trusted you
did you know how highly i thought of you?
you are oblivious to what you do
i though better of you
but i needed someone that wouldnt run
a familiar friend one may call it
i kept this skeleton locked away to long
to much has happened that i can never get back
I wish i had just said no
and the question was just never presented
but i cant go back now.
Me or her are both too apathedic to care
we will never stop there.
i needed someone to help me find what to do
i thought that someone could be you
if not you than i cant think of anyone else who would be there for me
if not you than who?
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