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Love poem

I walk with these love crazed beings
they swear they love what now lay dead
but while they were togther they paid no heed to this one sworn love
now none of their senses can feel it
because the feelings are dilluted by thinking
this hole corrupt that they must fill
if it was true love the hole would be still
Immatation love may make you forget about the hole
but it wont go away
this creature holds your soul
though far away.
The two are bound by love
this poxy is stronger than any material or words
when the two are torn apart
it takes with it a piece of their hearts
sorrow laced with pain keeps the relationship real
the loss of a gain is what you feel
the bonds that keep you togther
are to be held in place untill the sun stops loving its work
to us this is forever
and if it were to stop how long until we walk amongst anything so beautiful again?
maybe never
but what do we become than?

Sometimes our feet seemed locked to the floor
we are stuck in these situiations that we cant endure anymore
the revelations are undetermined
nothing is what it seems
the door stares us in the face
antaganizing us
the entrance to anouther place
but somthing lost the key
the third eye is far beyond blind
yet the guiding light leads us all
our view is too remote
we dont see the car behind the headlight
the only way to get somewhere in this world is to sell youself
and im going no where
we live in this sickened homeland
peaces graveyard
the past revelations delineate now
their lessons forgotton
now helter-skelter wandering
in a far away home thats gone rotton
at the dawn of a dark sky sunrise
anouther evolved animal
this one is embracing our eyes
it is here: the manimal

You are the aeons running water
you give me some
but the rest escapes through the cracks in my hands.
You know i will come crawling back
on knees begging for more
Desperite i wait
while wasting your gift away
I will not move until you swear that you will let me see more of you
Evan though you are already fully exposed by light and dark
Soon i again will have wasted you for anouther day
I want more of you to be found
I resent your lack of giving
and you act like you dont hear a sound
In the summer sometimes you graciously trick the light and i
but in the winter you get the revenge for your kindness
i dont want you to be real anymore
but in this world you will never die
though you are immortal i waste our friendship away
in my blindness i gather thorns for roses
when you take away those gifts i cry
but i know you will keep me
i won a place in your heart
long after im gone you will keep me alive
keeping me on your mantle, preserving me in history
despite of our never ending bond
your price is high
in you i must confy
and when im done it is you who will tell me to die.

Illusions Documented
Now i see what isnt here
manifesting illusions,
dillusions breeding in my fear:
anouther no right decision
the mesmorizing culture diese
anouther one taken
somthings there to seize
their words set to sedate you
raise you up to hate you
you were borrowed
now you are numb
destined to live this doccumented life
doccumented what from?

The Muse
I will hear her words
The muse doesnt want me to write today
What will I do?
No words i can inscribe into immortality
no words at all
She doesnt want me to think today
What will I do?
No ideas to waste my time away with
no thoughts at all
She doesnt want me to breathe today
What will I do?
No using air to survive
no breathing at all
She wants me to die today
What will I do?
No life left for me to use
no life at all
She wants me to listen to her today
What will I do?
No more freedom for me
no me at all

Today I want to be deaf
If I listen I will be no more.

The Fall
Desire is our destiny
Death will never die as long as it has us to die for it
Just as life will never live if we live for it
There are so many things to take
but we want it all
We want to have someone do somthing for us
Welcome to the fall
here is an endless pit of nothing
where columns crash down endlessly
and death is inevitable.
Life is neglecting and apathedic
It wants you to live for it.
However death is just as bad
Its immortality feeds on our mortality
as long as we die, death will live
and life will need to create more servants.
It is so easy to hate life now-a-days
but people just overlook death
If death did not steal life
life would not need us working to ward off death
The two are merely bitter enimies
their constant struggle is our life.


Everything will be perfect today
I am getting divorced
The blood stained past will remain a memory
gone forevermore, those were the days of the past
back when i was married
I had to love you
no matter how much i hated you
I am no longer bound by breathe or soul
Im free
I remeber trying to outsmart god
first i thought being this way was his wish
that is why i turned to you
turns out he won again
To twist my fate i cannot do
I shouldve known before I said anything to you
but in my blindness i picked thorns from roses
I did not think to look at the rest of the flower
I only saw the part that hurt me
but ive destroyed all the thorns
my past has no proof
After today its not real anymore
This marriage was meant to kill itself
but suicide is beautiful in its truest form
i did not know that losing myself was part of that marriage
the psuedo persanility i picked up will be left in the past
and with this ceremony of devorse
I leave my past self to whither away.
Soon i will go find that flower i left behind
I will see my loveless mariage die
and from this divorse foward
I will be me, forever free.


Lucifer its all because of you
you are the worlds evil
i dance around primal curiosity with you
My pleasure is burdened by desire
I want more than i can concive
looks like i will be walking with fire
deciet tangled in my pride
you live inside me
when i seem schitzaphranic you are on my darker side
Lucifer you are so sane
we are whats crazy
in this insane world sanity seems insane
My dearest fiend
you only lurk behind the cross
you are only christs friend
when manifested illusionary evil must descend
some may say its all because of you
Im done playing pretend.


Tear drops form puddles on the ground
as they fall from eyes far away
without a sound
he says he doesnt want to be a boy today
to much stacked upon wet paper
tearing holes that cant be sewn
he was never a man: more a monster
but neither one exactly
he was only as monsterous as a monkey sees a man.
The rain drops seem a vague memory of the other day
he let himself hide inside laughter
bleeding salty water is what he had to pay
but he will have a spectre forever after.

My Deer

When death walks amongst us to steal somthing away
soon a new life will began
by all means celebriate it
than when death has its turn become afraid
all you have is your deciet
you are not what you said
you swore you were such a man you would not cry
and that nothing can hurt you here
but no matter what the man
when you look death in his haloweed eye
you will lose yourself in fear
and began to cry
A cold blooded killer will turn to a fragile boy
when his anti-karma love does not return
he would know they stole his toy
All the time he had it
is now a mental image gone bad
he was only fit
for what he had
everything is all gone
wasted away
but it wont be long before he gets a new toy to play
though it will never be the same one
new love will spawn from tears
the deed is forever lasting done
and it will wither away in pasts' years
My deer are dead
Im helter-skelter ringing a vibrant black
now the rest in my mothers bed
and they are not allowed to come back.


To my dismay, Ive done it again, there was nothing I could say, it happens only one in every ten.
I hate that feeling, you know that one, I may as well be reeling, but now im done.
Butterflies in my stomach, a lump in my throat, There must have been a leak, in my unsinkable boat.
I wonder why I even care, I really dont, but I was there, from now on I wont.
I quite this game, no more worries, though it will seem the same, theyll be no more stories
I was never in it for fun, Nor could I decide, now im done, no more wasting my free ride.
When I was young I never could dream, how far i would go, It never did seem,that there would be useless questions i did not know.
Such wasted empty pain, purely to my dismay, all theres things i hold dear are merely invain, I never wanted to be this way.
The psuedo smile on my face, clothes on my back, I never liked this place, Ill never truely be back.
The stench of defeat in the air, spreading the culture diesease, its everywhere, infecting as it please.
Such a vile brute in my face, looking for his self pride, he is such an invisible disgrace, to his own hurt i will reside.
All of this i resent, surely now you see, I can never recant, its just not me.
They stole my mind, but not me. They will never find, what they cant see.
I have been lured, but i will not come, They said i was just borrowed, now im numb.
Thank you all, for that stab in the back, an interspecies betrayel, and the fatal attack.
Im so dead, you think im alive, just like you never thought, the mind game i'd survive.


Well you say everything will be ok, and not to worry, but thats all you say. In your silence you lie. Everything that makes you a hypocrite you keep hidden away. Just like you say i have nothing to fear, but you are afraid. I should fear! Life is hard. You want me to only touch what you know, but it doesnt seem i know anything anymore. What should I do? If i were to believe in you what else could I be? I killed you in my mind, but you will not go away. I run, night and day but you are just some sinester spectre. I do not have a life anymore and i can blame it on you. You are my life, my fucking life, what was i supposed to do? either way i give up control. Whether its to you or me, i cant be what im supposed to be. I had to kill you, and myself too. Now what shall I ever do? If i do what you say ill be you someday. If i look to myself what will i find tucked away, is it really me or just you again? I cant escape, you are everywhere, inside me, all around me, what must i do to become me? Seems this twisted path starts with you and ends up back where it started. I forget how to survive while being truely alive. What now, i cant live like me, i cant let you win. I will never give in. O' how appealing it is to live simply like you, though i would rather die. Theres nothing left for me to do but try to outsmart you. Pity it is impossible to kill you, for you are alive in me. Its sad this had to be. Everything revolves around you. Well guess what?you fucker, im through!


I do not want to write today
my lack of passion leaves me with nothing to say
the muses are good to me, but to my dismay
they have left me to myself today.
No singing in my head
therefore i have no words to be said
tho' once my words have been read
they live on long after im dead.
I give hopes and empty promise to tommarow
maybe then their words i can borrow.
As long as the winds of words are free to blow
i will have no need for stagnent sorrow.
My words will overshadow the abyss's shriek
even when their meanings are weak
the loud sound of naught will not have a musical streak
as long as the animals can speak.
Reaching the highest point is a long climb
the meaning usually has no obvious rhyme
my voice is as powerful as the strongest mime
though my words wil live as long as this nonexistant time.


I scream but the silence will not break
How i wish i could leave?
but i cant until they have what they want to take.
Was i bored by their time?
and angered by their words.
Do they get joy from my suffering?
I would hope so.
By stealing me does it give them meaning?
Soon i will learn how to walk
and to their dismay maybe talk?
I shall speak of their cruelty
what will become of me then?
our rolls will switch
What if i have the power?
I will prevail and never become them
for do i know who i am?
and power shoes the true charector of men.

My wire cutter

I will not be ruled or regulated
I am on the same trail, yet i have an escape
my wire cutters will set me free
TV set to brainwash me
but i will resist, i wont believe
but caught up in barb wire i must leave
spikes digging into me
the wire cutter will set me free
rain in another form
people coming down in a subduing storm
drowning me in their ways
surrounded by people yelling
covering my ears to keep correct corruption out
caught up in their maze of wires
but my wire cutter will set me free
my nose forcefully held open
my hands bolted down
my mouth wired shut so i cannot make a sound
their aroma smells so sweat
its hard to believe they are the ones who make this evil treatthese inocent looking creatures hold me here
they tie me down with wire and scare me into their way
but my wire cutter will set me free
oh my wonderful wire cutter, unsoiled by misery
oh my wonderful wire cutter, locked up inside of me
untouched by the rust, unsoiled by violating trust
its what no one can touch, its everything but not much
as im held captive its free as a bird
as im held captive its whats heard
im held here by weight of the sky
my wire cutter can reach up high
and when evil comes down
itll come and wont let me drown
perserving me for eternity
it is my immortality
never being touched
my wire cutter is everything
but not much.

Who is that?

I work so hard to be myself
but is it truelly me?
Is this what i am or what i want to be?
Who am i to question my own personality?
am i not living up to what im supposed to be?
honestly i dont care despite this looming animosity.
long as i get there...
but how far can i go when im lost in myself?
Ive fallen into the web
theirs is deadlier than any spiders.
Soon my personality dies.
What will become of me?
I wont go easily.
but how can i be myself when i dont know what im supposed to be.
despite my desire to be free
i fear theyre getting a hold of me.
this unwanted psuedo marriage cannot be
it is impossible for them to have me.
Though my mind can be taken
that is only if it is foresaken
then whos to blame?
I guess it would be because of me
that damned burning desire to know what i am to be
but it is inevitable that i must be free
and finally able to find me, myself and I.
Now i have turned myself to three
why does it seem men must die
to be truelly thee?
The dissent part of me must prove them wrong
so to be me, I know i cannot go along.

A life

A church, a sacred place that demads control
words blind your eyes
and evil purifes the soul
because in your pocket you hold dear the book of lies.
Empty threats held over your head you fear the mythic land of hell
they say you will go once you are dead
but how can you fall from this place you have already fell?
and the preist says he can save you
and everything he says you willingly hear.
We are already walking on burnt ground
with your kind who swear it's well
they proclaim itll turn around
but they dont know this is hell.
or heaven if you know the secret of life.
I think i know now, how about you?
I cannot say mine because it wont be true for you
but happiness is the needle that runs the thread through.


I will not do what I never will,
but who is this 'i' that is spoken so highly of
Is he a slave or master
man or monster, maybe he is all,
but if he is not master of 'i' than who is?
'i' is truelly naught.
You only see it as a reflection of what is.
Unless there is such an 'i' than comes and is only 'i'.
'i' cannot be 'he' or 'it', nor 'we' or 'all'.
Who is thou that claim they can master thyself?
It is them 'i' will incarniate.

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